My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
