so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
