I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize