What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
