I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
