I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
