Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
