Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce