Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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  (479): he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha http://tfl.nu/2icp
  Replies (19) Good night (1066) Bad night (2204)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (16269) Bad night (1284)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm so glad i pay social security

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  (610): Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year? (1-610): I'm so glad i pay social security http://tfl.nu/rnv1
  Replies (17) Good night (4308) Bad night (912)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.

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  (607): Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey. http://tfl.nu/4gnd
  Replies (13) Good night (4422) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.

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  (850): Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes. http://tfl.nu/ng3j
  Replies (4) Good night (2897) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy

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  (901): Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy http://tfl.nu/xs8r
  Replies (7) Good night (2350) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.

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  (772): A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm. http://tfl.nu/ew0u
  Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (1435)
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  (805): View more from California

  So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka

  (1-805): View more from California

  Sweet. Did I win?

  (805): View more from California

  Youre hungover arent you?

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  (805): So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka (1-805): Sweet. Did I win? (805): Youre hungover arent you? http://tfl.nu/l89i
  Replies (4) Good night (2835) Bad night (500)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.

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  (303): He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door. http://tfl.nu/ylk0
  Replies (3) Good night (1462) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing

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  (360): I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing http://tfl.nu/tjmj
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty

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  (916): I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty http://tfl.nu/gn90
  Replies (11) Good night (379) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Any good?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point

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  (515): You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka. (1-515): Any good? (515): Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point http://tfl.nu/htpx
  Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.

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  (270): Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck. http://tfl.nu/t1ax
  Replies (5) Good night (2815) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.

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  (734): You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts. http://tfl.nu/l485
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants

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  (816): I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants http://tfl.nu/igf3
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (235)

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