Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...

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(313): mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up! (1-313): it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me... http://tfl.nu/s17x

Replies (13) Good night (990) Bad night (2043)
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(302): View more from Delaware

i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.

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(302): i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace. (1-302): you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING. http://tfl.nu/vhdb

Replies (47) Good night (851) Bad night (2465)
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(516): View more from New York

OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM

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(516): OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM http://tfl.nu/ckuz

Replies (34) Good night (8092) Bad night (1937)
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(812): View more from Indiana

there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.

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(812): there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected. http://tfl.nu/s29p

Replies (8) Good night (1169) Bad night (2951)
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(586): View more from Michigan

My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.

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(586): My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas. http://tfl.nu/bset

Replies (8) Good night (879) Bad night (2649)
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(757): View more from Virginia

i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...

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(757): i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ... http://tfl.nu/nc8q

Replies (19) Good night (2230) Bad night (784)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.

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(847): I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/xqx5

Replies (12) Good night (1891) Bad night (708)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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(401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a

Replies (1) Good night (1291) Bad night (1283)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts

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(314): I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts http://tfl.nu/krja

Replies (9) Good night (1892) Bad night (690)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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(414): Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course. http://tfl.nu/ipu8

Replies (7) Good night (1393) Bad night (934)
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(716): View more from New York

We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.

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(716): We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity. http://tfl.nu/f66f

Replies (4) Good night (1088) Bad night (428)
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(702): View more from Nevada

You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.

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(702): You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe. http://tfl.nu/iy8l

Replies (7) Good night (1375) Bad night (381)
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(516): View more from New York

Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god

(1-516): View more from New York

You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!

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(516): Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god (1-516): You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!! http://tfl.nu/q7xb

Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (381)
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(847): View more from Illinois

You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard

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(847): You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard http://tfl.nu/8q9y

Replies (0) Good night (670) Bad night (357)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.

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(847): I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dr57

Replies (3) Good night (1000) Bad night (227)

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