We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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