So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's like iHOP with fire
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?