Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.

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  (904): I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything. http://tfl.nu/zym5
  Replies (71) Good night (821) Bad night (2916)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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  (717): can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill. http://tfl.nu/zd59
  Replies (18) Good night (1240) Bad night (5162)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.

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  (316): No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here. http://tfl.nu/05bz
  Replies (71) Good night (956) Bad night (6298)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.

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  (512): I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it. http://tfl.nu/p4f6
  Replies (26) Good night (693) Bad night (8071)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.

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  (662): I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/47a7
  Replies (10) Good night (3163) Bad night (1062)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.

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  (901): we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly. http://tfl.nu/dwqa
  Replies (58) Good night (1807) Bad night (14804)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd

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  (301): I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd http://tfl.nu/xdaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1087) Bad night (3648)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.

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  (817): he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down. http://tfl.nu/bkhk
  Replies (16) Good night (4716) Bad night (1164)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I plan on gettn treatment center drunk

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  (682): I plan on gettn treatment center drunk http://tfl.nu/t6du
  Replies (3) Good night (2309) Bad night (1187)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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  (416): Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way http://tfl.nu/xbs0
  Replies (9) Good night (986) Bad night (1475)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.

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  (229): He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb. http://tfl.nu/1qwr
  Replies (5) Good night (2171) Bad night (793)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.

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  (920): Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience. http://tfl.nu/3t0z
  Replies (0) Good night (1238) Bad night (537)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

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  (780): He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned. http://tfl.nu/9m93
  Replies (11) Good night (1095) Bad night (433)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through

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  (401): you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through http://tfl.nu/dquz
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (356)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.

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  (919): how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic? (910): you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment. http://tfl.nu/ekr6
  Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (526)

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