You smell like stripper and shame
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
