Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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