I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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