id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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