I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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