brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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