i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
