Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
