Your dad touched me again.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
