I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
