last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
