I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize