and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
