belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
