You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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