think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
