if you like me you must not know who I am
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
