if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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