Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
