You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
