Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
