How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
