we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
