why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
