my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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