So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sorry about my life...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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