he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
