It's like God shit irony all over that family
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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