..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
