I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
