...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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