I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
