If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
