She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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