i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
