I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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