I love black thongs
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
