just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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