Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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