my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You dont lie about slip and slides
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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