well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
