that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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