i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
