If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
