We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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