YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Nicole vs. Life
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
