Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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