im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
