I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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