i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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